Wednesday, December 29, 2010


Hospice... what a devastating word to hear.

Today I took Evan into the Doctor's and we had "The Talk". We were told that Evan's liver will not make the grand turn around that we were hoping for and there is nothing more the doctors can do to help him. As of today Evan is on hospice and will no longer be making trips to the doctors.

Hospice will come in and do everything that they can to help make Evan comfortable for the remaining time he has left. The doctor doesn't think he has more than a month to two months left.

I feel like my feet have been taken out from under me and I can't turn off the water works...I feel broken

My dear friend told me that grief will come in waves and that I just need to ride the waves all the way to the shore. I love her dearly for bringing a smile to my face. (Thanks Darcy, you are a rock)

My sweet Brother and Sister-in-law are coming to my rescue to give me the comfort that can only come through the power of the priesthood. Thank you my dear brother for coming to my aid and letting me lean on you, I love you so much!

You are all a strength to me, thank you for carrying me through this.


Melody said...

Oh, Julie. . . how I weep for you during this difficult time. I am so glad your brother will be giving you a blessing. "Broken" is a very good description. I know that Darcy's advice is true. Please know that I am here for you - even if it is just to cry on my shoulder. I love you, Julie. Our Heavenly Father will get you through this. Remember he has descended below all things - even the pain and sorrow that we feel in this mortality. It is His Balm of Gilead that gives us comfort during these trials. I will visit as soon as I can. Love, Mel

Coleen said...

I can only wonder at the pain and fear you must be feeling. I can't even conjure up words to express my love and concern for you both. I'm hoping we'll have a chance to come and visit. I'll be sure to call ahead. Don't feel guilty for shedding tears, remember, even Christ wept with Mary at Lazaras' tomb--and He knew Lazaras would be returned to life in just a few minutes! Your separation will last a little longer than that--cry all you need to--your tears will be shared by many who love you both.

penny said...

julie, it just breaks me and randy's heart, we think so much of you and your family, evan has been such a great friend to our whole family, even my mom, dad and sisters, always ask about him, we are so heart broken and it has been such a hard thing to go through and we are so sorry, but you are strong and please let us know if there is anything we can do for you or your family, to help you through this hard time , love penny and randy

Debbie said...

As I had the wonderful privilege to sit with my brother, Evan, for a short visit on the first day of 2011, I marvelled at his emotional strength. I fall apart, and he gives me comfort. It should be the other way around, I know. Julie, all I can say is that I know the anguish you are feeling. At some points you'll feel numb, other times (a lot), you'll feel exhausted, along with all the unbearable sadness. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. But it is all part of His divine plan, as you know. This time on Earth is really so short. You'll be with your sweetheart before you know it. I love you and I'm here for you for ANYTHING you need, ok? Give Cody extra hugs and make sure he has someone to 'talk' to. Shoni was 2yrs older than him when she lost her dad. Love you guys! ~Deb

Jules said...

Julie and Evan,
I'm so sad to heard things have gone from bad to worse. I haven't checked blogs forever and figured you were fine until Travis heard the latest on Evan's health yesterday at church. I'm so sorry that the treatments, IV's, and radiation have not slowed the disease down, but have taken its toll on your body. We'd like to visit tonight if possible. We'd love to bring your family dinner or dessert. What ever. I don't have you phone #, and Evan's cell number doesn't work either. Please call my cell (801)558-7561 and let me know what we can do. How's Cody? Your family is in our prayers and will be on the prayer roll at the temple. Love Travis and Julie

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Katie said...

Oh Julie, believe me I know what you are going through. It is not an easy road to be on. I am truly sorry that you have to be on this particular road at this time in your life. It is comforting to know that with the help of our Heavenly Father you will be able to see him again. I am very grateful that you have an eternal family. I love you guys! I wish I could lift the pain from your shoulders. Don't be afraid to ride the waves. Evan is a great man and I am blessed to have him in my family. Take care! Love, Katie

Paul Baterina said...

You will be in my prayers. Stay strong, as you all are.