Thursday, October 29, 2009

Another Treatment Different News

So, welcome to the roller coaster of Cancer. Today I went in for my radiation treatment. I think it was my 6th and I talked to my oncologist while I was there and he said that in his opinion, he thinks that I should start the Sandastation shots as soon as I am done with my radiation. He says Sandastation is a great drug to stop the growth of the tumors that I have. It doesn't kill them or reverse any thing but kind of blocks them from growing.

I asked him what his opinion was on my outlook and he seemed to think 5 to 10 years was reasonable. So, even though one doctor said less, he thinks it will be more. Who knows what to think. I just know I want to be able to enjoy as many years as I have left.

So finally after so many visits to the doctor's office, I have a little bit of hope and good news that I might be around for a while.

Just keeping you all up to date and letting you know what a roller coaster Cancer is. The emotions run high one day and are subdued the next. It is a strange thing to deal with.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Treatment 4 down 11 more to go

Yes, I have had 4 radiation treatments and am doing fine. They said that I would feel it after a while but so far it has been basically like having an xray.. I hope it stays this way.

I did want to share something else with all of you. The other day, a good friend of mine shared a song with me and I couldn't find it on the Internet so I went to the store and bought it. I LOVE IT. I am sharing the website with you all and if you go there, it will start playing the music from the album. The first song is my favorite and the last song is sad but touching. It is about a woman that had Cancer and died. Its called "the robe" it is #10 on the CD The website doesnt ever play it. sorry.

I hope you love it as much as I do. Remember to Laugh Love and Live.....

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Day 1 for Radiation

Today was my first Radiation treatment of the 15 that I will be having. They said that it would be painless and they were correct. It didn't affect me at all, and that was 4 hours ago. They said that after several of the visits I might get tired but we will see.

anyway, I had them take a picture so you could see the machine that they used to shoot the radiation into my body.

14 more to go and then we will see how we are doing. wish me luck !!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Radiation Treatments

Well, I set up my Radiation treatments to start this Thursday and go every week day for 3 weeks. The first day they said I would be there for a few hours as they get everything set up and documented and what ever else they need to do, but then after that, it will be 15 minutes in and out.

I asked them about the side affects and the doctor said that I will likely feel tired, have a little nausea, and get a slight sunburn on my stomach. I told him that sounds just like a vacation to Mexico, so I think I will just wear my sunglasses and Ipod and spray some tanning lotion on me when I go in and it will be just as good as a vacation to Mexico without having to drink the water.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Tattoo's today

Today I went in to have my visit prior to my radiation treatment and the doctor showed me the results of the scans that I had the past two days. It showed that my liver still has 3 dots of Cancer on it. Also it shows a big white dot on a Lymph Node that is right by my spine.
So today they did another CT scan and then gave me 5 Tattoo's that are permanent dots on my chest, tummy and sides. They are only dots so it isn't like it will even be seen if I have my shirt off. Not that I go without a shirt often. I have too big of a scar to bare it.

So the doctor said that he wanted to do the 3 weeks of Radiation starting next Wednesday and then when that is done on the Lymph Nodes, then he wants to schedule another Theresphere treatment for the tumors on my Liver. It will be two days in the hospital. One for the mapping and the next for the treatment. (about 7 days between)

That is the current plan. The doc did have some good news and that was that he was not going to start the sandostatin shots (chemo) so I will wait to see how long I can go without that. He thinks the longer I can wait without symptoms the better off I will be.

He did confirm again that this is terminal and that I shouldn't plan on more than 5 to 10 years. Oh well, I will take what I can get and enjoy them. Remember, you shouldn't worry about what you cant change. I cant change the fact that I have Cancer so I will not worry about it.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Scan again

So today was day two and scan two. They did the scan of my full body with the radioactive stuff in me which shows up on the scan. It was not painful but long and you have to lay there without moving for about an hour and then they did another scan that took another 30 minutes. It was driving me nuts to sit there perfectly still for so long. If you move, then they have to start that segment over so I didn't want to do that.

any way, I had the Lab tech take a picture of me in the scanner so you could see what it looks like. Now I just have to wait till tomorrow and talk to the Doctor about what he see's on the scan.

I did sneak into his office after the scan to ask him a question. I get asked all the time what stage of Cancer do I have. Well to be honest, I never knew, so I asked him. He simply looked at me and with a little hesitation said that I am at stage 4. I asked what stage is next and that is when he told me that there are not any further stages. Ouch !! Well, I guess I will wait till tomorrow and find out what he says and then post the results.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Octreoscan Today

I am scheduled for my scan today but to be honest, I dont know what that means. I only know that they called the other day and said that the stuff they use is coming from Canada and wasnt going to be here in time for my earlier appointment so they changed it to 10:30am. I guess it is really time sensitive stuff so they only ship it right before it is being used.

So, I have to go in at 10:30am then after what ever they do, I have to go back at 2:30pm for the rest of the scan.

It is really an unknown at this time as to what they are going to do but I will add a post later when I understand what it is going to be.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Doctors Orders (not sugar coated)

Today I had my visit with my Doctor to find out what was going to be the best treatment for the new Cancer that has manifested itself in my Lymph Nodes.
As many of you know, doctors are taught not to sugar coat any thing so they tell it as it is and I guess I was just not quite prepared for that today.

So what did he say, well he said that I have some Lymph Nodes that are about 2 inches in diameter and they are normally about ½ inch so they are getting bigger. He was hoping that they would not grow and that my Cancer would just not be an issue. Unfortunately that is not the case and I will need to start treatments to slow the progress.

The doctor then said that this “is not curable” but that he can slow it down and try to give me some good years. I don’t know how many that is and he didn’t know either but he said he was hoping to work with a 20 year plan and now he is looking at a 10 year plan for treatment.

Basically that means starting with some radiation (Monday through Friday for 3 weeks) and then after that treatment stops being affective then they will start Chemo and do that to slow the progress as well. He did mention that there are some new drugs that are coming on the market that might be able to help in my Cancer but that they are not available yet. Maybe in a year or so.
The key is that as long as they can slow the cancer the better chance they will have at finding better treatments.

Yes, this was a shock to Julie and I and we are not going to just lay down and die. We are going to fight the battle and win. If I have 10 years to live, well then I am going to live those years the best I can. If I live longer, then I didn’t waste the first 10 years.

You don’t always get a chance to know your own mortality but when you are told that it looks like it is going to be cut short, then it does change your outlook on life. The good news is that I am going to live like I am dieing. (like the song). That way, I can make the best of every day and not sweat the small stuff.

I hope you all know that I am really okay with what ever happens, I don’t want to spend time worried about what might happen but rather on what I can do to make life the best.

I am sorry this Post was as long as it was but I had a lot to cover and will keep you posted on what the schedule is for treatments when I start them. I know that my first step is to have a Octrioscan on Oct. 13th and 14th and then the 15th I am supposed to go in for my first visit for the Radiation so I don’t know if I will get a treatment that day or just a visit for the setup of the treatments.

Remember, God is looking over each of us and I know without doubt that he has been watching over me. I have been blessed beyond what I deserve and if he see’s fit, I will be around for a while. If he wants me back, I will go when he wants me.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Oct 1, 1966

This is my favorite day!!

Why, you ask??

Because it was the day that my sweetheart was born.

I am the luckiest girl in the world because of this day!! To take a famous line from a movie "you complete me" pales in comparison to how much you truly mean to me.

You are my hero!!

Happy Birthday Tweetie, I hope you have the best day ever!!